Hell Toupee | Tray Eppes


He’s got no hair on his head…that’s the reason for what he did

The cause was a recessive gene… now his head looks like Mr. Clean  

[A] It’s was hell toupee [E]  [A] It was hell toupee [E] 

His mama’s daddy was bald but he didn’t care 

He was looking good…. with no hair.   

But when the boy grew up… you know what he did  

He wore a rug up on his head

It was hell toupee. It was hell toupee.   It was hell….. toupee

The thing was ugly even when it was new

He stuck it on his head with some flesh toned glue

You saw it coming… you knew it was him

It looks like road kill with a trim

It was hell toupee. It was hell toupee.  It was hell….. toupee

The thing would sit there nice and flat 

But you’re not sure what you’re looking at

It’s hard to look him in the eyes

You’re mind will start to fanaticize [E…][….]

[E][F]  What if there came a real strong wind? 

[F#][G] What if he went in for a swim?

[G#][A] How can you tell if it’s on straight?

[Bb][B]%][B…] Could he be early and his hair be late?

=[E]%]%]%][A]%][E]%][F#][B][E]%]=  x2

The man was vain and not real smart

He’d bought his eye and sold his heart 

So if your hair starts falling out 

don’t do what he did, you’ll hear them shout

There’s hell toupee. There’s hell toupee.  There’s hell… toupee   

=ending= < [E] x8 


This song was conceived while surf fishing on the Outer Banks of NC with my long time friend and humorist Jim Williams.   Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.  

© Tray EPPES 2015